Breitbart.tv » Self-Proclaimed Vampire Brings Out Seattle SWAT

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Breitbart.tv » Self-Proclaimed Vampire Brings Out Seattle SWAT

Vampires..... a truly confusing being of the underworld. Did they not come to the realization that feeding on animal blood is far more conducive to acting on their guilty pleasures consisting of seducing innocent high school girls and playing baseball? Think about it like this. If you were a vampire and desperate enough to expose yourself in broad daylight to feed on humans, where would you go to feed? I for one would not head down to the Union Gospel Mission to get my grub on! Did it not cross this vampires mind that the Union Gospel Mission probably has a holy cross or two lying around?

Assuming he is that desperate, here is my problem.

Your a fucking vampire idiot! You don't ask to eat humans! You get in, grab that neck, suck blood like a fucking chupacabra, and bounce like Nick Cage in Gone in 60 Seconds. Your not polite about it as humans aren't likely to oblige you. Plus, you really don't have all day to negotiate with humans when hot ass high school girls all full of teen angst and raging hormones get out at like 3:30pm. Not to mention that most high schools have open campus policies for lunch periods.

Second, why go all suicide bomber? Again, your a fucking vampire! Perhaps even more important is the fact that if that IED were real, blowing yourself up does not help you participate in the guilty pleasures of seducing high school girls and playing baseball. Are there 72 virgins in hell waiting for you to seduce and feed on? Perhaps an even more important than my previous more important is to ask if your working with Al Qaeda? I doubt, as many of those guys are engineer types and your whole lets dine at the Union Gospel Mission proves your not remotely smart or possess any common sense.

Lastly, for those familiar with my affinity with the word skiboski, this vampire epitomizes a skiboski. He will be added to the definition post. So, with my Bud held high, here is to you mister skiboski-vampire-high school girl seducing-baseball playing-bolo-suicide bomber, but your no Edward Cullen.

‘Acceptable’ Risk - Bill Burck & Dana Perino - National Review Online

‘Acceptable’ Risk - Bill Burck & Dana Perino - National Review Online

I really like how Burch and Perino chronicled AG Eric Holder's view on how the United States should prosecute individuals in the War on Terror. It's not a terribly long read, nor is it bogged down in legal jargon that could have made it a hard read. My only issue with the article, and one I know is not directly addressed, is the definition of where the battlefield exists.


If one looks at hostile actions against the United States by groups similar to or Al Qaeda itself, one can see that the battlefield is where the hostile group determines it to be. That could be the Iran Hostage Crisis 1979-81, the Beirut Barracks Bombing 1983, the World Trade Center Bombing 1993, the U.S.S. Cole Bombing 2000, or September 11th. These are not arbitrary battlefields to be determined by politicians, delegated to military leaders, and briefed to soldiers. My point is, I think that our elected officials (regardless of political affiliation) and military leaders need to first come to grasp with the fact that the battlefield is worldwide including the United States. Once this is done, much of the contention in how the US should prosecute individuals becomes moot.

The President's Healthcare Speech... or at least one of many.

President Barack Obama’s remark as prepared for delivery in the East Room:

Good afternoon. We began our push to reform health insurance last March with the doctors and nurses who know the system best, and so it is fitting to be joined by all of you as we bring this journey to a close.

When Hotdogs Attack!

I read this today and couldn't help but laugh at the absurity of it. A story about how hotdogs have now become frankfuter non grata to the American Acadamy of Pediatrics(AAP). In this day and age one would think that the AAP's stance would be related to hotdogs being unhealthy in dietary terms, but not in this case. It appears that hotdogs after hundreds of years of existance are executing a well planned insugency against it's largest advisary, children, and they have the AAP along with some parents running to Uncle Sam for help.

The AAP's answer to this insurgency, labels. Ah yes, the cure all for many things American, protect Americans from themselves. One mother in the article says this, "Parents are so busy, we pick up things and we don't always think twice. If there are warning labels at the grocery store, we may pass on it." Seriously lady? Lets think about that statment. If parents are to busy to think twice, how are they going to suddenly have the time to read, "WARNING-YOUR CHILD MAY CHOKE ON THIS IF YOU DO NOT TEACH THEM TO SUFFICENTLY CHEW THIS PRODUCT?" By the looks of Little Johnny you obviously don't have the time to read the nutrition labels either.

Unfortunetly the AAP and parents have been looking in the wrong place. Anyone from the Chicago Area and familar with the Chicago Deep Dish Pizza (CDDP) knows that the CDDP is far more dangerous to the unsuspecting child than a hotdog. Who hasn't frantically choked on a delicous glob of melted mozzeralla cheese from a CDDP in their youth, or as an adult for that matter? No worries, one just tugs the long stringy end of the lodged cheese and disaster is averted. How is that for absured?

SkiBoSki

What the hell is a SkiBoSki? SkiBoSki is the freshest word to hit Devonshire Ave. It can be used as a verb, noun, or adjective, and in a variety of situations.

Main Entry:Skiboski
Pronunciation:/ski-bo-ski/
Function:Noun, Verb, Adjective
Etymology:Modern English, from the Atlanta, Ga area.
1:Damn, went out last night and got skiboskied!
2:Did you see that guy with the blowout and spray tan? Yea, what a fucking skiboski!
3:The good, the bad, and the skiboski.
4:Also an idiot from American Idol.

Enjoy, and feel free to come up with your own new and exciting ways to use SkiBoSki.

First Post

I'm becoming increasingly suspicious that my rants and thoughts expressed on facebook are driving friends and family crazy. So, I'm going to move them here so that if I piss them off its really their own fault. Most often I like to express my thoughts on politics and sports(generally consisting of Chicago teams), but also enjoy ripping celebutards.